Spongebob Crankypants
Hi Cleanse Kula,
I believe it's my nature to think first of the positive, fun and uplifting in life, which is a good thing! But that optimism may have been what made me forget to remind you that for many of us, days 2 and 3 are marked by increased sensitivity, crankiness and an inexplicable darkness. Gone are the happy recipes, grocery lists and menu planning, only to be replaced with reports of being sleepy, weak, or barfing, having headaches, nearly shitting your pants in class this morning, of being offended and hurt or of snapping at others. We may find ourselves alternating between guilt, resentment at the imposition this process is making on our "regular" life, malicious thoughts towards the inventor of our Liver Tonic, confusion as to why we wanted to do it in the first place, questioning if we're really the kind of person that does this kind of stuff, wondering if people think we're crazy, rebelling against the cleanse and how it is being led, wondering why we're not feeling "more", wondering if this pain in the ass is even worth it???!?!?
And believe it or not, I think this is a great sign. These are all signs of your status quo being disrupted. Your patterns have been disrupted. Your routine has been disrupted. Your diet has been disrupted. Your thinking patterns have been disrupted. Your boat has been rocked. This, I believe is true: A fruitful spiritual practice is one that disrupts your status quo and then gives you the space to learn how to work skillfully with what arises.
The tools you'll use to work skillfully with what arises now and forevermore cannot be given to you. But the opportunity to cultivate them can and has been given to you now. First you have to open yourself to the disruption. Don't forget how skilled we are at blocking and avoiding. I believe it's part of the reason we stay so busy - it's easier to block the things that need a good looking at when they're buried under other responsibilities and activities. Next, you have to be open to learning from the process. If you already think this process is dumb or worthless - you are right! It has no hope of benefitting you if you think you're already smarter than it. And this also means not having an agenda about what you might learn, rather being truly open and respecting the process and everyone going through it with you. Next, we have to be tender with ourselves yet have the stamina to stay with it. This is where a consistent asana practice will really help you - these are things we practice on the mat too. And finally, we have to be willing to receive whatever wisdom or tools the experience provides and have the humility to receive it completely.
Yes, there are exceptions! I know not all of you can relate to what I've just written. And there may be a few reasons for that...it too soon and just hasn't happened yet...you have too skillfully blocked away what needs some looking at (or it just hadn't occurred to you yet that it's related)... or you are a living Buddha. I believe beneath all our aversions lie the lessons we need to learn most. It's always a good place to look if you want to do a thorough cleaning. And we are all here to support and love you no matter what you find.
One love,
Gina
I believe it's my nature to think first of the positive, fun and uplifting in life, which is a good thing! But that optimism may have been what made me forget to remind you that for many of us, days 2 and 3 are marked by increased sensitivity, crankiness and an inexplicable darkness. Gone are the happy recipes, grocery lists and menu planning, only to be replaced with reports of being sleepy, weak, or barfing, having headaches, nearly shitting your pants in class this morning, of being offended and hurt or of snapping at others. We may find ourselves alternating between guilt, resentment at the imposition this process is making on our "regular" life, malicious thoughts towards the inventor of our Liver Tonic, confusion as to why we wanted to do it in the first place, questioning if we're really the kind of person that does this kind of stuff, wondering if people think we're crazy, rebelling against the cleanse and how it is being led, wondering why we're not feeling "more", wondering if this pain in the ass is even worth it???!?!?
And believe it or not, I think this is a great sign. These are all signs of your status quo being disrupted. Your patterns have been disrupted. Your routine has been disrupted. Your diet has been disrupted. Your thinking patterns have been disrupted. Your boat has been rocked. This, I believe is true: A fruitful spiritual practice is one that disrupts your status quo and then gives you the space to learn how to work skillfully with what arises.
The tools you'll use to work skillfully with what arises now and forevermore cannot be given to you. But the opportunity to cultivate them can and has been given to you now. First you have to open yourself to the disruption. Don't forget how skilled we are at blocking and avoiding. I believe it's part of the reason we stay so busy - it's easier to block the things that need a good looking at when they're buried under other responsibilities and activities. Next, you have to be open to learning from the process. If you already think this process is dumb or worthless - you are right! It has no hope of benefitting you if you think you're already smarter than it. And this also means not having an agenda about what you might learn, rather being truly open and respecting the process and everyone going through it with you. Next, we have to be tender with ourselves yet have the stamina to stay with it. This is where a consistent asana practice will really help you - these are things we practice on the mat too. And finally, we have to be willing to receive whatever wisdom or tools the experience provides and have the humility to receive it completely.
Yes, there are exceptions! I know not all of you can relate to what I've just written. And there may be a few reasons for that...it too soon and just hasn't happened yet...you have too skillfully blocked away what needs some looking at (or it just hadn't occurred to you yet that it's related)... or you are a living Buddha. I believe beneath all our aversions lie the lessons we need to learn most. It's always a good place to look if you want to do a thorough cleaning. And we are all here to support and love you no matter what you find.
One love,
Gina
PS - I made the happiest salad I could today and took a picture of it. Hope it brightens your day. Spring mix, halved cherry tomatoes, cucumber crescents, thinly sliced red, yellow & orange bell peppers
posted by Gina Caputo - Yogini On The Loose @ 1:07 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
All good points, Gina. I've found that, in order to experience rebirth, there's usually some parts of ourselves that have to die first. Letting these false selves die fully and grieving properly, though difficult, usually turns out to be easier than trying to matain their facade. My personal technique is to write lots of little sad and angry songs, which I then burn or bury and do not trouble anyone else with. Making really loud noises with my voice helps too.
Nice salad!
I know my status quo is being disrupted but so far it seems to be happening more acutely on a subconscious level. I don't feel I've struggled overmuch with the diet, and the colon cleanse and liver tonic seem to be working just fine but not too violently, but my dreams have been INSANE and insanely vivid, even more so than usual. And in each dream there seems to be a single phrase directed at me & emblazoned most brightly in the memory thereof... I wonder if anyone else is having bolder brighter (in some cases spookier) revelatory dreams, too...
I'm sure I would be having some notable dreams, as I am feeling very lucid and that usually transfers over into sleep, but I don't seem to be able to sleep at all!
I'm not stressed out about it and I don't feel tired, I'm just ... awake. I love hearing dreams told though, if you or anyone feels like sharing them, I down to listen and interpret or not interpret, depending on your preference.
Gratitude to you my teacher for disrupting my status quo. Without your guidance along the path and dedication to teaching us, I would remain stuck with old patterns, stagnant habits and lacking the inertia to transcend my holy being. YOU ROCK SISTER!
That beautiful salad photo will one day be placed in your cookbook--so save it.
A Kiss for the Chef,
Anita
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