Should I Really Be Doing This??
Okay so this is cleanse 3 for me and the last cleanse I did was fall of 2006 at which time I became pregnant! Yes I am 100% sure that this precious child was conceived cleanse week, okay enough of that.
Here is where I am at...so I have this 9 month old baby now and a 5 year old little boy that plays soccer and is very active (guilt). My husband is the soccer coach and I work full time as well(guilt again). I am a psycho about the house (control issue) as I feel I need to be for the baby (she puts everything in her mouth) and has really started "exploring" the house which I am totally cool with. I want her to learn as much as she can by investigating dumping over the cat's water bowl and pulling the cats tail etc (again with the control issue). However this creates so much work for me to keep her safe, and also by the way I adore her she makes me so incredibly happy and she loves to be with me. This also creates some issues which I quickly figured out today when I was trying to juice some tomatoes for my soup and I was chopping and holding her at the same time (guilt again). Any way just wanted to give a shout out as to where I am and I really hope I can make it through I hate to say it but I am totally depending on being with all of you to get me through....no pressure.
PS This amazingly magical child wakes up at about 3:30 AM just about every morning I love her but I don't really want to see her at this time of the morning!
posted by Michelle Oberbroeckling @ 9:18 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Girl, all I can say is that you've been away from your yoga practice for too long! Here's to remembering why it's ok to take time away to feed your spirit! The fruits of that work cannot be contained, your family and everyone you connect with receive the benefits of the work you do. Only a small few benefit from your tidy living room ;)
Hi Michelle,
Kudos to you for reaching out!!!
How similar my question this morning but more like, "why am I doing this to myself?". This came about the time I had to interrupt my meal preparation to tend the needs of one of my 3 children for the 4th or 5th time. Someone was hungry, someone needed their snotty nose wiped, someone needed a bath,need I go on? I found myself wishing for some magical fairy to arrive to do all the laundry, clean the kitchen and prepare my meal so I could just relax. By the end of meeting all their needs, I became grumpy because I was really hungry.
I can totally relate to the issue of order in the home. Control issue or not, in our house, there is very little but still I try very hard, which means I continuously pick up small toys, crumbs, clothes and things I can't identify. This morning I found myself thinking,"why am I doing this? This isn't my mess." (resentment) Too many times I just tell myself it's easier if I do it--wrong! Then I will have to live with how I've trained them up to rely on me to clean up their messes. Longterm effects could be hazardous, I suspect. I do try to apply the tools from my yoga practice and have learned to "let go" in order to take better care of myself. The mess may still be there, but I can approach my chores without resentment later. And teach my children in the process. I'm not trying to say you are resentful, just sharing what I experience when I try to control my unorganized and lovingly chaotic home.
The sleep deprivation is another issue altogether. I hear you with clarity! I recently heard that a mommy loses up to 700 hours of sleep during the first year after having a baby--so treat yourself kindly.
I think it's unfortunate that our culture doesn't support mom's for all they sacrifice. It still seems devalued and never recognized for the energy given--especially during those moments when you are fatigued and overwhelmed. Supermom just isn't allowed this luxury.
After the birth of my twins (3 years old now), I made a real commitment to my yoga practice. This is what brings me through those rough spots and reminds me to find compassion for not just their little souls, but for my own. Making this commitment wasn't easy and sometimes I leave the house with 3 groping children begging me not to go. Tough on the heartstrings. But I remember my purpose and how yoga helps me to be a better me, which includes a mother, wife, friend, sister etc. I know in my heart they are well taken care of and the time with just dad is good for all of them--dad too.
I want to heartfully encourage you to treat yourself with all the compassion you would give your best girlfriend during a difficult time. As you embark on this transformitive path and dive deeper in self-awareness, you truly are serving others in the very best way possible. It's not an easy path, but possible. I am here to support you in every way!!
Peace, Support, and Big Love,
Anita
Anita
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