Why the ants came...

...as I mentioned early on in the week, the terrential rains lured some uninvited visitors into my pantry. After a few days of the contents of the pantry spanned across most of the kitchen table in order to address the problem, I became quite agitated. The little stinkers seemed to be multiplying and I was planning on the full use of my kitchen during the cleanse. Okay, so I like things a bit in order and found myself completely flustered when trying to squeeze in something extra I hadn't planned on. So why am I telling you all this? Let me just back up a bit.

I have struggled for many years to begin "eating right" as opposed to eating wrong most of my life. Making promises to myself that I never kept, allowed me to justify my mental predicament. Afterall, I was naturally thin (genetics), I exercised constantly and I had decided I wasn't a good cook. But the inner struggle pressed on for many, many years and through many unsatisfying attempts. Why? Because I fed my emotions not my well-being.

So you see, the little ants brought me to a point that I had to face what was lingering in every dark corner of the pantry. With the contents spread in front of me for several days, I couldn't miss the processed food packages, the 8 year old spices, and the reality of how poorly I feed myself and my family.

Although the cleanse experience has not been completely about the food, I thought it would be the most difficult part for me. Thanks to the great recipes, turns out I love greens! And fruit never tasted so sweet. I feel like I never truly "tasted" the food I had been eating--expect perhaps Mexican(chuckle)--I was really feeding my emotion-of-the-day. I also discovered that preparing good food can be spiritual and therapeutic. A totally unexpected creative side to me seems to have just opened up.

One more thing, the agitation of dealing with the little ant farm and the intense introspection the Om work revealed, would have normally sent me into my lifelong habit of mindless eating. I had to really stop, think, and make a choice. But most importantly, I noticed my desire to feed my suffering.

Thanks everyone! I've enjoyed every minute we've spent together. Perhaps the newness and strength of our kula will wane from time to time, but my life is forever changed because of you.

Anita