Thank you, kula....you are amazing
I thank all of you for the trust you've made me feel this week, allowing me to open up today and risk judgement for having negative feelings about my dad--feelings that I have been unsuccessfullly trying to work through by way of finding compassion for him. It is not easy to express feelings that seem cold, especially in a context where compassion is supposed to rule! But I am beginning to discover that self-compassion is the first requirement for positive change, a message I've been seeing in many of the blogs. Your awesome kula support provides a very safe and loving haven for change.
Namaste,
Dorothy
posted by Dorothy @ 10:15 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Dorthy-
Thank you for trusting us with such raw and sensitive information. I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself.
Allison
My question to the kula is this - where do we draw the line on putting ourselves in the path of suffering. I understand we should look for the source of the problem, use compassion, etc. But if someone makes us suffer, why should we allow this person to be a part of our lives? I do not like to be around my mother - I have never had a close relationship with her. She is a very negative person and totally drains me of energy (which in turn my husband suffers...). I have not completely shut her out of my life - I see her on birthdays, holidays, if she needs something, etc. But am I being selfish for not allowing her in my life? If she was just a friend or even a spouse I would probably be advised to end the relationship, why should it be different when it is a parent? Why should we be the strong ones and suffer in silence? Please provide some yogic wisdom...
Anonymous, that is a big, big question. I think the answer lies within - your challenge will be to quiet the "little i" enough to hear your "Big I" tell you what you need to do. If you can walk away truly without feeling guilt (not just hiding it) or second guessing, perhaps it's the right thing to do. But if you can't and still walk away, you may be just dragging your suffering along with you. I personally think the path is to see her behavior as suffering so you do not feel angry or dissapointed at her behavior. But, as we all know, parents are hard, maybe the hardest? If someone else could tell us the right thing to do, it would be so much easier. But, alas, the work is our own and quite challenging. Meditate often and much!
Wow this is big! Thank you for sharing. You are not alone. I love my dad and know I will be the one to take care of him as he ages. My dad suffers a lot with lonliness, alchol abuse and depression.He is a widow and I feel so much resposibility for him and his well-being. So thank you for opening the door on this topic. Everyday is a new challenge and I can SO feel your range of emotions. I have them too! What Gina said today really makes so much sense, it is just appling it that is hard. I just have to daily sometimes hourly release him to the BIG I. Knowing I can not change him but He can in the twinkiling of an eye. I can control the way I think about the vicious cycle I put myself through. Keep on doing what is right even when it doesn't feel right. Pressing on. Victory is just around the corner. Believe it!Thank you for blunt honesty. I am right there with you! We are all good at sugar coating things for the eyes and ears of others when the truth is rough and raw. Shining light on these feeling and issues is freeing! Thank you!!!!!!!Lots of Love is sent your way!
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