Chuck Holes

I am from Iowa where it is required to take a driver's education course. (I hear that isn't the case in these parts). My instructor was a rather large man that would sweat a lot, this I remember. I also remember that he used the phrase 'chuck holes' for what I would call 'pot holes'. I awoke from my pre-cleanse slumber to tell you all about my spiritual chuck hole.

As many, I first took interest in yoga due to its physical qualities. To me, it was like gymnastics for adults. It wasn't long before I was realizing my increased awareness immediately after and lingering after class. You know, I would get in my car and couldn't believe that I had been listening to my radio so loud, start to notice as I was starting to say something bad about someone...the list goes on. It wasn't long before this awareness became the most interesting feature of yoga. So I started to read. And read. And read. And somewhere along the way, I read the phrase 'endless patience' and that suddenly became my life motto. Endless patience with myself and with others. I was on to something.

Recently I had felt that much of the practicing I was doing off the mat wasn't doing as much good as I had wished. It seemed that the endless patience that I once was so stuck on wasn't getting anywhere. I was mostly noticing this in my relationships with others, particularly my boyfriend (see disclamer on boyfriend below). I felt like I was doing my part and more and not only was no one noticing, no one was giving it to me in return. Convinced that I should be working on endless patience without any expectation of reward, I kept on keeping on. But gosh, was I getting tired. So tired that I didn't even feel like reading those books talking about what I should be doing. Like what I would read just wouldn't work anyway. But tonight, sweat reward.

My boyfriend had a moment today where he was stuck to himself for several hours. No TV, no phone, no computer, no people. Just him and his head. And when I arrived home this evening from my yoga class, we had the best conversation. The light bulb in him had gone off. Aha! My endless patience had worked! I stayed in bed awake until he fell asleep, anxious to get out of bed and pick up a new book--right after my blog.

So I am hear to tell you to be patient. To spend some time to yourself to realize what is important to you and what really makes your world go 'round. What makes you happy? I mean, truly happy. Do you need results now, or can you sit back and enjoy the ride?

My intention with this cleanse is to get out of the chuck hole. If it is the special diet that does it or the many days of intense asana, then so be it. As I am constantly looking inward, I hope that during this period I have many lightbulb moments. Much like what I have heard many of you speak about. I imagine our kula as a tree of lovingkindness growing many, many more branches. And for this, I am most grateful.

**Boyfriend disclaimer: This blog is not mean to damage the integrity of boyfriend. Boyfriend is the sweetest, most genuine guy in the world. And quite cute, too.