Those Pesky Negative Waves-From John

Evenin' Folks!

It's John channeling through Becky's posting. I haven't figured out how to get the KS immersion blogsite to pop up on my user name. Sigh...ten years of higher education and all that...

Anyway, I'd like to relate something that happened to me on Monday (I know, it's Thursday.. almost Woohooday - that's how I like to refer to tomorrow since normally at the end of the day I lean back in my chair and say Woo-hoo!) but I'd like to share anyway.

I had come home from the first evening practice after a meeting filled day which limited my ability to graze. However, I felt great at class, and on the drive home. I walked in the house to the smell of cooked onions. Salivary glands do your thing! Still, I was okay. That was until I was rummaging around in the fridge and Becky let me know that the potatoes I was coveting were for a dish tomorrow. Now, you might ask yourself, are potatoes worth getting upset, even angry over? Did Becky intentionally tell me that she wanted to use those tubers in a recipe tomorrow just because I wanted them? I did not ask myself that until after it happened (about 30 to 45 minutes later). I was sitting and thinking quietly about my reaction trying to distill down to the exact moment when those negative waves made their first appearance. The funny thing was, there were several other things that I could have started gnawing on, but I was fixated on those spuds.

The reason this is relevant (to me at least), is that over the next two days I had to drive to Topeka and back. Let me tell you. There are PLENTY of opportunites to witness the generation of those negative waves while on I-70. When I started feeling less than charitable thoughts about the drivers (note plural) that just cut me off, I kept asking myself, "Self, did he/she REALLY cut you off just to make you upset?" My answer was invariably "No" and most of the time it actually kept those pesky negative waves from forming (alright some of the time.....alright, alright a few times - but it worked! There were a LOT of opportunites to test this). Most of the time, I was picking myself up off the ground watching my reaction (e.g. Do I have a sign on my car that says, "Please cut me off even though I'm already driving over the speed limit.") drive away like a runaway tractor trailer (they seem to have those as well on I-70) that had just flattened me (i.e. analysing after the fact).

I have been reading lately that those things that really tie my insides up with frustration are nothing more than my reaction to a thought about a given situation. And that with practice, you can first replace those negative reactions with positive (or at least neutral) reactions. And that eventually, you will notice the thought, identify it as being as destructive, counter productive (negative) and let it float along with the other 60,000 or so thoughts that we experience daily without reacting to it.

Participating in the immersion has given me the motivation, reason, excuse (pick a noun) to investigate this. For this, I would like to thank all of you for participating and contributing to the kula.

By the way, today was first morning session. Wow! The energy in the room was palpable.

Keep smilin'!

John