A Brilliant New Discovery!!!!!

One of the surprising and not-so-delightful things I have noticed about myself in my yoga practice is that I am no good at balance poses. This is outrageous to my ego because I am a Libra, for goodness' sake! Balance is my middle name! Then Gina has the gall to stand up there on her little stage and suggest that a lack of physical balance is related to a mind that lacks focus and stillness! This ridiculous theory of hers makes me angry, which makes me have less balance! Since we all know that the heart of yoga is doing the poses right and looking good, two weeks ago I decided to cut short my frivolous meditation time, and practice tree pose on each leg every morning until I am GOOD AT IT. So far I've seen no improvement at all, but that is O.K. because this morning I made an inspired discovery --- IF YOU CHANGE THE NAME OF THE POSE TO FIT WHAT YOU ARE DOING, THEN YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT!!! For instance, my tree pose is now called "Beautiful Willow Flailing Dramatically In A Hurricane." My half-moon pose is now officially called, "Lunar Eclipse During A Giant Meteor Shower." I refuse to do Warrior 3 any more because it doesn't adequately express my essential nature; I now do my own version called, "Clever Warrior Lying Flat On The Ground In Ambush." I have not had time to translate these new classics into Sanskrit yet, but I am sure they will sound even better when I do. You can see me performing these asanas at my next yoga class, but the important thing is for you to be creative and take control of your yoga practice. It is now 6:45 a.m. and I picture you guys filing into the studio for the first session of the fall cleanse. Namaste ! And remember, if you get too tired, just collapse and say your inner buddha told you to!